Let Pain Overcome My Love
by Pnkx
Summary: This is a 1 shot angst fic based on KenshinKaoru. Kaoru wants to know if their love could overcome all the pain of Kenshin's past. In the end, we find out. . Read&Review!


Hey people!  
  
I felt like making a one shot angst RK fic about Kenshin and Kaoru. I got so tired of reading such good angst fics, I had to write my own ^^.  
  
Disclaimer: Nobuhiro Watsuki is the creator, unfortunatly.  
  
The song I use is called, "Couldn't we" by Deborha Cox   
  
~**~**~**~  
  
~Let Pain Overcome My Love~  
  
*Couldn't love heal the pain?*  
  
*Couldn't time take the tears away?*  
  
*Couldn't you, you and me... Try again?*  
  
A lonely man sat at a peak of a hill, watching the sunset as scenes from his horrid past overcame his being. The state of peacfulness on the outside but in mind, a raging battle of deaths from days long since passed rushed around like an unstoppable hurricane. A shaky sigh escaped his lips as a soft voice echoed in his head.   
  
Kaoru Kamiya, his sanity...  
  
Without her, everything he'd ever hoped, cared, or lived for would parish, yet he dare not love her. To many things would burden her if she would fall into his pool of love. He knew the feeling was within her, and also, within himself. "She could never love a man with sullied hands," was what Kenshin Himura would say to himself when her caring eyes peered towards him; when her unstained hands would to touch his, the sight of her death clouded his mind.  
  
'She is all I have, but what I can't reach. My love isn't good enough for her.'  
  
His insides churned as the thought of her living a sad life flashed before his eyes. While she grew old, he'd be off trying to repent for all the lives he'd taken. She would still love him no matter what.   
  
'That love will destroy her...'  
  
The sun had finally set and the moon luminated his being as tears fell down his cold cheeks. The night was quiet as the tears of a hurt rurouni dripped to the ground beneath him. The birds soon to sleep chirped their last and Kenshin sat in the dark and silence of the night.  
  
A silent figure crept up behind him and stared as she watched her lover cry alone in the dark. She stared up at the cresent moon and prayed to Kami that her Kenshin wasn't hurting because of all the sins he'd commited so long ago.  
  
"Kenshin." She muttered, but the muffled sobs he let off made her unaudiable to him. She looked at his red hair as the night wind blew it from his face; all she could see was a crying child alone and... afraid.  
  
"It's going to be alright." The words of a mother left her lips as she crossed in front of him and kneeled.   
  
He did not look up at her.  
  
She wraped her gental arms around his head and placed her head atop of his. Silent tears then fell from her eyes as the sad rurouni cried a bit harder in her chest.  
  
"I hurt, for I can't love you, Miss Kaoru." Kenshin said through his tears. He gripped onto her kimono and lifted his head to look into her eyes. "You'd hurt because of me, because of what I've done." He looked away and still cried at the thought of her suffering because of him.  
  
Kaoru looked down at him and understood, ever little pain that was overcoming him at that moment. She was one with him. She knew that her happiness depended on him, but her sadness depended upon herself.  
  
"Kenshin, don't say things like that!" She yelled as more tears fell from her closed eyes. She gripped onto his shoulders and said, "Kenshin..." She softened. "You don't cause me any pain, all you give me is love. I'll I can give you is the same. Don't go on blaming everything on yourself! I care for you no matter what you've done or what you're going to do! I accept your past and your future." Her voice trailed off as she looked down the hill and to the city below. "The future... the future is all that matters now. The past is the past and- and the present is the present."   
  
Kenshin's sobs paused and his eyes grew, 'The past is the past and the present is the present.' Kenshin closed his eyes and sighed an understanding sigh.  
  
"Kenshin, I know things before brought us apart, but I'm willing to forget that. You're all that I want now, and all I'll ever want!"  
  
*Start the story over*  
  
*Turn the page tonight*  
  
*There's nothing wrong between us*  
  
*That love could not make right*  
  
Kenshin looked up at her sadened yet happy face. "I know Miss Kaoru, we should just leave everything behind us- forget all the terrible things that happened. But I still have a deep pain in my heart."  
  
*Can't we forgive and let our hearts forget*  
  
*Let the love back inside*  
  
*Can't you and I just get back to those feelings*  
  
*And feel them just one more time?*  
  
Kaoru felt her heart sink as Kenshin spoke of the pain in his heart. "Like we said Kenshin, just- just forget." She felt Kenshin's shaking head on her shoulder, the movents were telling her, no. "Kenshin..."  
  
"I can't just forget, Miss Kaoru. Every night when I sleep, I see their faces, all the faces of the people who I killed. I feel there is so much more I need to do to make up for those who didn't deserve a death." Kenshin wiped his eyes on her kimono and stood. He picked up his sword and placed it in his sash. "I can't forget them, I have to do more for them."  
  
Kaoru jumped up and wrapped her arms around her, hugging him tight as if some unknown force was going to snatch him away from her... forever. "No! Don't tell me you're leaving, I wont let you. Not again, Kenshin. I need you. I love you!" The words finally escaped her lips, and she said them without regret. She needed to tell them to him, or she would eternally be in pain of the heart.  
  
Kenshin hugged her back and nuzzled his head in her neck, "I wish I could tell you what I feel now, but if I did, my parting would hurt you only more."  
  
Kaoru hugged him tighter as she cried for him to be with her 'till she died. "No..."  
  
*Couldn't we stay together?*   
  
*Couldn't we make it better?*  
  
*Couldn't we turn the page*   
  
*And start the story over?*  
  
*Couldn't we bring the love back?*   
  
*Couldn't we have one more chance?*   
  
*Couldn't we hold each other just a little closer?*   
  
Kenshin held his tears and kissed her neck then looked into her eyes. "I know this hurts you so much, but I couldn't live with this feeling and I would never let you hold this feeling- ever." Kenshin kissed her softly but Kaoru kissed him deeply, for it was their first and their last; she wanted to savor it, she wanted to remember it, she wanted it to never end. Kenshin broke the kiss and looked at her pained face. He kissed her forehead and turned away from her.   
  
Kaoru looked at him leaving her alone... again. She had no power of what was happening. She could do nothing but stare. Calling his name wouldn't amend his discision. She stood there with nothing but the emptiness of the night, and the emptiness of her heart.  
  
*~~*  
  
25 years later, a 42 year old Kaoru looked down at the city from the hill where her and her rurouni had parted ways. She relived that night every night in her dreams. Her days were comming to an end for she'd gotten leporsy a few months ago, and she was reaching her final stages.  
  
The setting was the same on top of the hill. The moon was creasent, the birds were asleep, the wind was slightly blowing and there was silence all around. She closed her eyes and the image of Kenshin's face apeared. Then she saw herself standing alone on the hill watching her lover go and here she was again. Letting the tears fall from her sadened eyes and being alone in everyway.  
  
Kaoru opened her eyes felt Kenshin's presence around her. She looked all over but she didn't find him. "I'm still alone," the words echoed through the night and through her head. The realization finally came to her: she was alone; alone in life and would soon be alone in death.  
  
"Miss- Miss Kaoru..." A man breathed from behind her. He limped towards her and breathed in gasps.  
  
Kaoru stopped and smiled, "Is it you, my love." Kaoru didn't want to believe it was him for if it was, there would be so many things she would want to say. She turned with her eyes closed and when she finally opened them she saw him, limping on a staff looking sickly and feeble, though his looks barely altered. Kaoru was overcomed with happiness and fear. Happiness towards the sight of her Kenshin back in her life, and fear that she was only dreaming. "It's you..." She walked slowly and painfully towards him and lifted a shaky hand to his face. She felt him; then she looked deep into his eyes, and finally, she kissed him.  
  
"Kaoru-" Kenshin breathed within the kiss. His body felt alive again and all he could do was savor the kiss and take it all in.   
  
Kaoru broke the kiss and wrapped her arms around his head as she did so many years ago. They both eased to the ground and let the tears that were held back for so long, free. She smoothed her finger through his hair and gave a tiny laugh. "There's so much I want to tell you, but first, I've never loved another besides you, Kenshin. I only have you." She needed to let him know. She promised herself after he'd left her that she'd never fall in love with anyone besides Kenshin Himura. So she no longer went by the name Kaoru Kamiya, but Kaoru Himura.   
  
Kenshin breathed a happy sigh and said, "I'm home now Miss Kaoru, from now on, call me Shinta."   
  
Kaoru looked up and asked, "Shinta?" Then she smiled and understood. "I'm glad you're here, back in my arms, Shinta." Kaoru felt her breaths come short and the life within her fading. "Ken- I mean, Shinta, I love you." She closed her eyes and layed her head on his and held on to life to hear him say it back.  
  
"I love you two, Kaoru." Kenshin breathed as the life within him fell into the hands of death.  
  
Kaoru let her last tear fall as she said into death, "Forever."  
  
*Couldn't we turn back the hands of time?*  
  
*To a time when love was right*  
  
*To that night when the touch was sweet.*  
  
*Can't we find our way back?*  
  
*Before we lose everything*  
  
There, their lifeless bodies lay, and Kaoru finally understood. She was alone in life, but she would never be alone in death...  
  
*Couldn't love heal the pain?*  
  
*Couldn't time take the tears away?*  
  
*Couldn't you, you and me*   
  
*Try again...*   
  
~**~**~**~  
  
Awe, I alway make sad endings. I just dont understand why. Well this is an angst story so what can I say? I hope everyone wont kill me for making them die but I guess everyone knew already. I might make one about Sano and Megumi but I'm not so sure yet. You'll see if I do.  
  
Read&Review 


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